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You Are Not Broken, Woman! You Are a Phoenix!

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Love, Commitment and other Demons

There comes a time when, no matter how hard you try not to see the obvious, the truth hits you and you just don’t get to run anymore. Sometimes in the shape of a fortunate (or unfortunate) event, sometimes in the shape of a person, the universe will always reach you, no matter how hard you try to keep your eyes tightly closed. There might be a sign on your usual , every day road to work. A sign you’ve always watched, but never saw. There might be a phone call from the one you love, that will give you chills. There might be a ,,mirror’’, and seeing it all  in another person makes you realise and understand the things you’ve been trying to avoid. These days, I’ve reached the point where I had no escape. I had to face the old, yet unknown to me wounds  and new perspectives on the things I thought I had figured out already. And there was no way out,  no place to hide, nothing to cover my eyes with. Like a wild, cornered animal I was tempted to fight, to defend myself and I realised that -not o…

What If There Is Nothing Wrong With You

All my life I've been trying to find love, to be loveable, listening to all the people in my life who were constantly asking for something in order to like me....


Be smarter, be faster, be more beautiful, be more sexy, be more compliant, be more silent, be more like every other girl, don't be like any other girl, be ordinary, be unique, be blonde, or be a long-haired girl, don't ask for anything, don't be needy,  don't be too independent, don't be naive, but don't be a cynic, don't smoke, oh! why you don't smoke with us....and so on.

All my life someone, actually lots of someones, asked for something from me in order to like me. I won't say love me...because ...let's face it if they asked me not to smoke or not to cry in order for them to love me....it is a sure sign they don't know what love is.

Today, I know there are things I should change, things I should learn in order to be a better person. Every day! Every single day there is som…

The End Is Always As It Should Be

As time goes by I am always amazed by what the passing time can do.
It is said that time will wash everything away. And that in the end, everything will be alright.
I actually believed that if it is not OK, it is not the end.











But, as time goes by, I realised that nothing is as wrong as this one.
The end will never be as we expected in the beginning. It is almost crazy to think that time will not change what we first wished for, what are hopes were.
There will always be a first plan. But there will always be changes on the road. It is inevitable, because we change every day. Every minute even.
There are no events which have no repercussions. There is no word that doesn't get to be embedded.
Even if we don't realise, with every passing moment, we change.

So, maybe the end is not going to be as expected, but who knows?! Maybe this is for the better.

Be Good! You Do It For Yourself.

It's Christmas soon. It is supposed that people are better. It is supposed that we are becoming better because of the holly days. Yes, holly days. You read it right.
It's all about the Holly spirit, right?
Yet, on my last soul searching I realised we got it all wrong.
People are not better. They just search for a better time, for a better image, for a better self image.
People actually are never as good as we think. Or, better said, people are not good for the reasons we think they are.
Call me cynical, but ....I am realistic now.
People are not better for you. They get better for themselves only.


Sometime ago I read such a harsh idea, which seemed at the moment as the most cynical idea ever for me: that when we worry, we do it because we are afraid for what we will feel when the loved ones will get injured or something. So, if we say that you should take care or wear that extra sweater is because we are afraid that we will get hurt when you are ill. Crazy, ha?!
But ....so sad…

You Are Not Broken, Woman! You Are a Phoenix!

''You've seen my descent,  Now watch my rising.'' (Rumi)
From time to time there comes a moment when we have to make a choice either to live the same old stories over and over again or just step forward and do the scariest, but the most freeing thing in the world: ERASE everything and RE-WRITE the whole story.
It is the time when you see how small you let yourself be, you hear yourself  whispering instead of roaring out loud and you decide that's enough. It is time to change that! 
Time to let go of all that and be done with this chapter.
Time to understand that no matter all the painful things that happened to you, no matter how broken you felt, you were never a broken woman.It was all in your head.
So, be done with that chapter. Be done with that book! Close it, seal it and start a new-life changing story. Honour your past, but be ready to burn it all in the flames of your rebirth.
Because, my darling, you are not the things that happened to you. You are not your mi…

Looking at Me

It is said that the eyes are the mirrors of our soul.
We tend to look into the others eyes in search for answers and signs, we tend to look for our loved ones eyes to feel connection.

I ask you now though, when is the last time you looked into your own eyes?
When is the last time when you stopped searching for answers and relief in others and turned to yourself.

After a hard time meditation, some time ago, I came up with such a sweet, yet painful message from Mother Nature. Amongst the trees, the last sandalwood scents, under the moon ray, I finally got it. The love we are all seeking is in our hearts. The love, the acceptance, the care, the pampering, all of those we own to ourselves. We are the ones who live this life, we are the creators of our lives.

I know it is hard for you now. I get it.
In hard times, my dearest, always look into your eyes because the eyes, baby, they never lie.
Always inquire yourself in the mirror.

Ask yourself first for forgiveness. Be grateful for what yo…