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How To Find Your Way Back When You're Lost

My ears used to perk up whenever I heard someone refer to him or herself as a “seeker.”

Because I could instantly relate to them, perhaps in the same way that you can to me.
I understood what it was like to be looking for something, but never really knowing what that was.
This was not something that affected my life lightly—rather, it was the reason I read hundreds of books, asked more questions than anyone I knew, burned through relationships.

My need to find something was like an affliction. It was a fire that burned through every aspect of my life and still fuels me to this day.
I heard people say that they were “trying to find themselves,” and this never really made sense to me. My search was always for other people with whom I could truly relate. I sought to understand my purpose in life, and to know just why,bloody why, we are all in this crazy world.

In a nutshell, my search was for truth.
I needed to know.

I knew other people who had firm beliefs about everything existential, but none of it got close to resonating with me. Some others didn’t seem to care enough to want beliefs of this nature, but these questions had plagued me since I was 13 years old.

So, I learned a lot about what I did not want—in fact, I could write volumes on what I have learned that I do not want in my life, as you likely could as well. From potential partners, to college degrees, random vices, I have learned that there is about as much in this world that is not right for me as there are stars in our sky.

With this information, and, of course, a lot of exhaustion and frequent burnouts along the way, I finally came to the realization that there was a better way to proceed.

Picture this: First, take all of the “mistakes,” or things that we have realized along the way we don’t want, and view them as information. Take away the emotion—the shame, the regret, maybe even depression or anxiety—and view this too as information that we can use to teach ourselves.

Imagine yourself on a giant compass.

You’re standing with your back up against W for West, and your information tells you that West does not work for you. You perhaps even fell flat on your face with West. The options at this point are daunting, because you know you don’t want to go West, but without real inner guidance you will randomly start sputtering in any other direction—just because it isn’t West.

This was how I spent my 20s. I was running away from everything that didn’t work for me, but sadly that is all the direction I had.
While we can truly learn from what we don’t want, life is too short to go through all of them. Life can be different. There are a trillion things in this world that we don’t want, right?
We can be much more effective if we choose to be intentional about moving directly toward, and aligning with, what we really want in life, rather than what we don’t want.
There is a huge difference.

So, how do we figure this out?

First, by slowing down.
By listening—mostly to ourselves.
By realizing that in stillness comes some of our greatest answers, and even by paying attention to the way our bodies react when we think about certain things.
Being discerning about our emotions and paying attention to what excites us, we can choose when to go for it, with everything that we have.
This path is not always straight, but what is important is that we are using our intentions to move toward what we want in our lives, rather than running away in a directionless manner from what did not work out for us. And if we still don’t know what that is, then stillness can be a much better alternative to busily buzzing around like a bumble bee until we do, no?
We are constantly evolving and learning more about ourselves; conditions can shift—it is important that we remain agile, and open to possibility when it arises.
The key is to love ourselves enough to listen to ourselves, to have grace, and to never judge ourselves or listen to the judgments of others. This is what it means to live intentionally and authentically.
Following the direction of our inner compass is not something that will ever lead us to a specific destination, but rather align us with that path that we were meant to follow.
The energy that we perhaps once expended seeking in places where we would not find what we were looking for can be used in a better way, and we can feel confident and, in the end, much lighter, even more playful.

Using our inner compass and turning toward what we want can pertain to all aspects of our lives. It is not just our career, or our partner, or anything specific, but rather a beautiful collaboration of it all—a picture that only you can paint along the way, that will bring balance, ease and ultimately a life lived to the fullest.
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Scrisoare catre fiul meu care nu va citi aceste randuri

Dragul meu,

stiu ca in ochii tai nu am fost mama perfecta.
Desi am facut tot ce am putut, mereu a ramas ceva ce putea fi mai bine facut, ceva ce ai fi avut nevoie si eu nu mi-am dat seama.

Dinainte sa te nasti, noi doi am fost prieteni.
Iti povesteam seara in timp ce priveam stelele tot ce am vazut, toate emotiile mele, cum e lumea in care vei veni. Iti spunea cat de bine ne vom intelege noi si ca vom fi bine. Ca orice s-ar intampla, noi ne avem unul pe altul si vom reusi impreuna sa trecem prin orice.
Si chiar asa a fost.
Iti citeam Sorell si fiul si am sperat din tot sufletul ca voi fi un parinte macar pe jumatate la fel de bun ca Sorell.
Poate am reusit sau poate nu. Doar tu stii asta.
Noi, mamele, mereu avem senzatia ca nu am facut tot ce trebuia. Dar poate tie ti-a fost de ajuns.

Stiu ca acum esti suparat ca te-am pedepsit luandu-ti laptopul. Si probabil tu crezi ca sunt nedreapta.
Si eu am crezut asta despre bunicii tai.
Dar cand vei mai creste, vei intelege ca parintii cauta s…

Cuvantul care iti va schimba viata

''Daca singura rugaciune pe care o spui este Multumesc, este de ajuns.''
Meister Eckhart

Fii recunoscator pentru ceea ce nu ai....daca ai avea, ce rost ar mai avea viata fara vise?
Fii recunoscator pentru ceea ce nu stii...e o oportunitate sa inveti.
Fii recunoscator pentru toate greutatile prin care treci...doar asa vei creste.
Fii recunoscator pentru limitarile tale...ele iti dau oportunitatea sa te dezvolti.
Fii recunoscator pentru fiecare provocare...iti va construi caracterul si te va intari.
Fii recunoscator pentru greselile pe care le faci...te invata lectii valoroase.
Fii recunoscator pentru momentele cand te simti epuizat...inseamna ca ai dat tot ce puteai.

E usor sa fii recunoscator pentru lucrurile bune din viata ta...totusi, o viata plina de impliniri este data celor care au multumit pentru piedicile intalnite in drumul lor.
Recunostinta transforma ''zilele negre'' in "zile albe''.
Azi poate ti se pare greu sa spui Multumesc.


Daca ti-as spune ca poti avea totul, ai fi dispus sa platesti pretul?

,,nimic in viata nu este gratuit''.

E o vorba din batrani. Stiu ei ce stiu !

Gandindu-ma la asta mi-au venit in minte toate intamplarile cand am simtit ca pentru a ajunge la ceea ce imi doresc era necesar sa ma decid ce sunt dispusa sa ofer Universului in schimb.

Asa cum Phoenix trebuie sa arda intai, pentru a renaste din propria cenusa, la fel si eu a trebuit sa renunt la ceva care ma definea pentru a face loc altor lucruri mai bune.

Pentru ca nu exista lumina fara intuneric, yin fara yang, soare fara noapte si nu ai putea sti cand esti fericit, daca nu ai trecut prin perioade din care simteai ca nu mai gasesti iesirea.
Toata viata este un ciclu continuu de inceput si sfarsit.

Nu putem cunoaste extazul daca nu cunoastem agonia intai- si cu cat e agonia mai adanca, cu atat mai puternic vei putea simti extazul. Totul are un pret. Extazul se plateste prin agonie.

Pentru a te elibera de durere, trebuie sa o cunosti intai, sa treci prin ea. Nu te poti elibera de ceea ce nu cunosti.