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How do you think it should be and how it really is

My son is a big National Geographic's fan. Spending time with him yesterday , we watched a little movie about some nasty monkeys. Funny creatures by the way.
Now, I don’t believe that we just evolved from the good old monkey. They might be cute and imitate us, it’s their nature. But if they do imitate us, that doesn’t make them our predecessors. But this is another story.
What I am going to talk about now is something that made me think about us , humans and how our behaviour  resembles to their’s sometimes.
I am going to tell you about monkey traps .

Monkeys are captured in India through a bottle with a banana placed inside, big enough to fit their hand in and out of. The hole is large enough for the monkey’s hand, but not large enough for its hand and the banana together.So, consumed by the wish of having it, the monkey doesn’t let go of the banana even though it’s terrified and about to get captured. The monkey gives up its life for the sake of hanging on to this stupid banana instead of  just letting go and  be free.
That banana, my friend, it’s making the poor animal forget about it’s safety, it makes it blind to the present events and leads to freedom deprivation.
Thinking about this , I realised we’re not better than this. That banana it’s the symbol of the projections we make.We hang onto what our  life “should” look like.

“My relationship should look like this so I’m failing to enjoy the relationships I’m in.”
“I should have kids by this time so I’m using my energy to rush things over.”
“I should have a nicer home by now, so I can’t stand to come to my own place every day."

The list is endless, you know it. And it’s all just bananas.

That monkey could go into the wilderness and get a better banana, for free, but it can’t let go of its attachment to getting this one banana.
Beyond the attachment to the banana itself, it can’t let go of what it needs to do to get the one banana it wants.

So, I could see in this documentary  a very simple lesson.Life already taught me this, along the way , without me even realising it: Everything in your  life comes easy, simply because you can take it or leave it. If it came, find a way to see it as a blessing. If it didn’t, find a way to see it as a blessing. If it left, find a way to see it as a blessing.Simple as that.

Never want  it enough to give up on it completely after a disappointment, and never completely want  it enough to give up your true essence for it.

Focus on how you want to feel and swing to a different tree if you don’t feel 100%  comfortable. By not sitting in the branches, hoping for the tree to grow you more bananas, you won’t be stuck in the same hopeless circle. If you leave the trap of how your life should be, you’ll find a whole forrest. Here, the bananas are endless.

Don’t be confused about what you want. 

Is this ONE banana or a banana?
Is this really what you need? 
Is it something you crave? 
Or is this banana making your life complete? 

Please, pay attention. Needing something or someone is not completing your life, by the contrary. You will feel the need and crave, when there is something missing from inside you.
And how can something or someone from outside you complete you inside? 
The inner self is only inside you.That’s what the name says, too! This is your journey only. No one can come inside with you to make things better.

Pay attention to this. 
Remain open to how things come and go. 
This way of being will lead you to places you’d never dare to dream of, inside yourself and inside of your life.
Let go of your bananas.
Stay open. 
It all comes in the right time and right place, I promise.
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Scrisoare catre fiul meu care nu va citi aceste randuri

Dragul meu,

stiu ca in ochii tai nu am fost mama perfecta.
Desi am facut tot ce am putut, mereu a ramas ceva ce putea fi mai bine facut, ceva ce ai fi avut nevoie si eu nu mi-am dat seama.

Dinainte sa te nasti, noi doi am fost prieteni.
Iti povesteam seara in timp ce priveam stelele tot ce am vazut, toate emotiile mele, cum e lumea in care vei veni. Iti spunea cat de bine ne vom intelege noi si ca vom fi bine. Ca orice s-ar intampla, noi ne avem unul pe altul si vom reusi impreuna sa trecem prin orice.
Si chiar asa a fost.
Iti citeam Sorell si fiul si am sperat din tot sufletul ca voi fi un parinte macar pe jumatate la fel de bun ca Sorell.
Poate am reusit sau poate nu. Doar tu stii asta.
Noi, mamele, mereu avem senzatia ca nu am facut tot ce trebuia. Dar poate tie ti-a fost de ajuns.

Stiu ca acum esti suparat ca te-am pedepsit luandu-ti laptopul. Si probabil tu crezi ca sunt nedreapta.
Si eu am crezut asta despre bunicii tai.
Dar cand vei mai creste, vei intelege ca parintii cauta s…

Cuvantul care iti va schimba viata

''Daca singura rugaciune pe care o spui este Multumesc, este de ajuns.''
Meister Eckhart

Fii recunoscator pentru ceea ce nu ai....daca ai avea, ce rost ar mai avea viata fara vise?
Fii recunoscator pentru ceea ce nu stii...e o oportunitate sa inveti.
Fii recunoscator pentru toate greutatile prin care treci...doar asa vei creste.
Fii recunoscator pentru limitarile tale...ele iti dau oportunitatea sa te dezvolti.
Fii recunoscator pentru fiecare provocare...iti va construi caracterul si te va intari.
Fii recunoscator pentru greselile pe care le faci...te invata lectii valoroase.
Fii recunoscator pentru momentele cand te simti epuizat...inseamna ca ai dat tot ce puteai.

E usor sa fii recunoscator pentru lucrurile bune din viata ta...totusi, o viata plina de impliniri este data celor care au multumit pentru piedicile intalnite in drumul lor.
Recunostinta transforma ''zilele negre'' in "zile albe''.
Azi poate ti se pare greu sa spui Multumesc.


Daca ti-as spune ca poti avea totul, ai fi dispus sa platesti pretul?

,,nimic in viata nu este gratuit''.

E o vorba din batrani. Stiu ei ce stiu !

Gandindu-ma la asta mi-au venit in minte toate intamplarile cand am simtit ca pentru a ajunge la ceea ce imi doresc era necesar sa ma decid ce sunt dispusa sa ofer Universului in schimb.

Asa cum Phoenix trebuie sa arda intai, pentru a renaste din propria cenusa, la fel si eu a trebuit sa renunt la ceva care ma definea pentru a face loc altor lucruri mai bune.

Pentru ca nu exista lumina fara intuneric, yin fara yang, soare fara noapte si nu ai putea sti cand esti fericit, daca nu ai trecut prin perioade din care simteai ca nu mai gasesti iesirea.
Toata viata este un ciclu continuu de inceput si sfarsit.

Nu putem cunoaste extazul daca nu cunoastem agonia intai- si cu cat e agonia mai adanca, cu atat mai puternic vei putea simti extazul. Totul are un pret. Extazul se plateste prin agonie.

Pentru a te elibera de durere, trebuie sa o cunosti intai, sa treci prin ea. Nu te poti elibera de ceea ce nu cunosti.