' I do believe that if you haven't learnt about sadness, you cannot appreciate happiness.'
~ Nana Mouskouri
I' ve had some hard times lately, I must admit. I had to take some moments off to cool down some too hot emotions, or sometimes to ask for help to shake the heavy sadness that slowly covered me.
And because I desperately needed venting, I cried. A lot.
I cried so much that my loved one couldn't take the pressure of not being able to calm me no more.
So, I got to think about this for a while.
We are so afraid to feel sad, that we keep on telling ourselves that everything will be alright even when it's not.
We are so desperate not to feel the pain that we force ourselves into being 'happy' even when the smile is so, so much a disguise.
Why? Why do we do this to ourselves?
We need to cry. Cry our hearts out, cry so loud that our shoulders shake. We need to release the pressure, otherwise our minds will blow.
I know you might have been taught as a kid that crying is bad, especially if you were a boy, but please forget this.
Do allow yourself to cry whenever you feel so. It will make you feel better.
And please don't feel ashamed.
So many people run to the bathroom when they do it and apologise.
Why? Why, my dear, do you feel the need to do this?
Crying is human.
We all do it.
We did it since we were born.
It is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you are alive!
Allow yourself to feel the pain. Then surround yourself with love. Be proud of your open heart.
Take care of your body, drink plenty of water and ask for hugs.
It is OK. You are OK. There is nothing wrong with you.
Judith Orloff, MD wrote in her book, Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life, that there are 3 kinds of tears: reflex tears which allow your eyes to clear out noxious particles when they’re irritated by smoke or exhaust, continuous tears which are produced regularly to keep our eyes lubricated and emotional tears which have special health benefits.
Biochemist and “tear expert”, Dr. William Frey, discovered that reflex tears are 98% water, whereas emotional tears also contain stress hormones which get excreted from the body through crying.
After studying the composition of tears, Dr. Frey found that emotional tears shed these hormones and other toxins which accumulate during stress.
Additional studies also suggest that crying stimulates the production of endorphins, our body’s natural pain killer and “feel-good” hormones.”
In addition to physical detoxification, emotional tears heal the heart. You don’t want to hold tears back.
It is good to cry. It is healthy to cry. This helps to emotionally clear sadness and stress. Crying is also essential to resolve grief, when waves of tears periodically come over us after we experience a loss.
Tears help us process the loss so we can keep living with open hearts.
Otherwise, we are a set up for depression.
You just have to acknowledge them, because the secret is that feeling sad makes you feel better afterwards.